It took me years to be able to comment on this subject, and even more years to be able to talk about it in details.
It's a very personal thing for me because I always wanted to be an idol, and seeing someone that not only had the same bodytype but the same type of personality as mine joining a group that I admired so much was like a dream coming true, so I suffered as much as Kanon herself during her entire journey as a member of the group, and as a result when she announced her graduation I wasn't devastated but instead I thanked God that she was leaving.
And I avoided the most that I could talking extensively about this subject because of two reasons:
1º - Fatphobia. This is a subject that in 2022 is still a taboo and scares me. I'm a 27yo going on 28 in the end of the year and I went through a totally bizarre and non-linear journey to start to accept that my bodytype is a natural thing. Only when I was 25 that I started a blog to honestly talk about it. Because of this, this essay have a lot of references not about Kanon herself but her bodytype.
2º - The fact that she's my kamioshi. I didn't want people accusing me of favoritism and saying that I only wrote this long-ass text just because I'm her fan. I also don't know how to deal with people judging me in the sense that they want to fight me, and while references are indeed very important, I don't have enough patience to deal with people who doubts what I'm saying only because in that moment I didn't had a reference or, like many things on the internet, the reference was deleted.
Alright, let's start the essay.
Just how mean and hypocrite the human race can be? There is no other way to begin this essay if not by asking this question.
A 12yo person (I don't make gender distinctions on this subject) had the dream of being a member of the idol group she liked so much, and to achieve this goal she decided to change the body she was born with so she could give it a try at the auditions. I ask myself: Who decided that she needed to lose weight for the auditions? The grown-ups around her or she was already aware about it even though she was so young? Most likely both, that are equally worrisome.
Anyway... She joined the group holding a great promise. Everybody praised her because of her innovation (she did a comedy sketch at the auditions) and potential, since she was pretty, very charismatic and had a beautiful voice. This person is Kanon Suzuki, an ex-Morning Musume. and Hello! Project member.
Until then, as incredible as it may seem, everything was okay. The problem is, maybe because of idealism, she thought that it was alright for her to be herself so she went back to her original size. Nobody knew about it so everybody got worried thinking that it was a health issue, but the real problem started when she said that she simply was born with that body. Her label started with the classic treatment for members of groups like her: Putting her always on the corner of the group pictures (a perfect example) and dressing her differently from the other members but at the same time dressing other members slightly different too so everybody would think that this was just a fashion choice regardless of Kanon's size. The chaos in the fandom also started. Not only mean jokes, but also conspiracy theories to justify why her body was like that and a strong denial worthy of flat-Earthers:
- "It's just puberty!" (?)
- "Ordinary girls are like this! She's not fat!" (??)
- "We're just worried about her health!" (???)
- "Why everyone's being so cruel? She is not and never was fat!" (????)
- "We, as her fans, are planning to tell her in person to lose weight again" (?????)
When all of this was happening, I sent once for one of those confessions Tumblrs a confession saying that if a member from another group was fat and a center, she could be too. The reactions were exactly the expected from everyone. If it was today at, for example, Twitter, I don't doubt that I could have been doxxed or blocked by most of the fandom.
Everybody is always talking about how they don't have any prejudice against fat people or that they were just worried about her health, but they laughed at her, called her fugly, were always saying that she was lazy and how she's always eating a lot even though she used to eat a normal amount of food and not only was a physically active person but she worked like an athlete literally 300 days a year. Because being fat is not a natural thing.
Things started to get psychotic no matter how much she tried. She tried to bear the pressure and only God knows how she tried, but it was in vain. Not only members of her group didn't like what she was doing but her label was absolutely mad with the situation. How could a fatass manage to sneak in there?
Let's recall something: As if the classic fatphobia wasn't enough, she was a member of one of the oldest and most famous groups of her country when it was gaining spotlight again after a long ice age. The times around the world were slowly starting to change but her label wasn't, so, instead of turning the situation into something positive they gave her two options: get slim or get out.
Then the "Let's make Zukki grea- thin again!" campaign started. On one of the last programs of Sayumi Michishige's radio program, Sayumi being a very important member of the group who was going to graduate soon (and bullied Kanon publicly few months before) the subjects were the usual foolishness, how the program that would replace it was Kanon's solo program and... Force her to promise that she would try hard to lose weight. It's needless to say that it received the fan's support, who suggested it to her. Fat folks knows that most of the medics are sadistic with us (an example) and after a leg injury that wasn't blamed on the group's very famous complicated choreographies but instead on her "over weight" there was nowhere else to go. She took the blame and accepted the challenge of going back to the weight she was back when she joined the group - even though it was insane starting with the fact that her body changed because she was older now, being 12 when she joined and 16 going on 17 at the time. When this was announced absolutely no one brought up the "puberty" subject again.
So, what happened? Yup, you guessed it right. She made news in the country, everybody truly loved her, and she was promoted in her group... Even though her outside appearance was like this. Amazing! This is definitely the appearance of a healthy person, right?
Everybody was talking about how her routines were just the ordinary thing, but every fat person who ever tried at dieting knows that if you lose your weight it's impossible to stay underweight without trying to literally kill yourself. After being so praised and getting sick, she noticed her mistake and, again, just like any fat person knows, when you lose weight it can come back in double until it get back to normal again and this was what happened to her. After a fight with her manager because of this, she finally decided to graduate.
She decided to graduate, but obviously absolutely no one should know the reason. What she did? She brought back a childhood dream and said that this was the reason behind her graduation, and the sad part is that the poor girl was so lost that she indeed tried to work with it but gave up because she couldn't stand the way that people looked at her. She was the fatty, ex-member of that very famous group that was relevant again, after all. Ah, and one more thing: The person who acknowledged that she graduated because of her body was the same person who bullied her publicly at least twice... Just think about how my blood boiled when I read it. The only reason why I didn't defenestrate my computer was because it was expensive.
Her graduation was beautiful, after all, it was her own decision, right? It's not like her acquaintances, group mates, superiors at the label, a whole-ass fandom, the media and the people she won't ever get to meet hadn't made she feel stupid and miserable for everything she did. And the best part? The international fandom elected her as their second favorite member of the group two years before. The same fandom that daily humiliated her and used to say that "being paranoid about weight is a Jap thing, they're just as bizarre and idiot as the rest of Asia's people" like they never had access to their own countries's media.
Nowadays she decided to be herself. She opened a restaurant recently (because she always liked to cook), and also have a channel for cooking and a channel for covers. Of course none of these things are officially confirmed, but while confirmations are always useful, to which extent it is important if this is officially confirmed or not? After all, officially it was her decision to graduate. I just hope she's physically well.
How the group would end up being if they had taken advantage of the situation and used her as a tool for their self-promoted "ability to change and adapt to the times"? That will be forever a mystery.
